Current events report, Vol. II

KAS
May 12, 2017
4 min read

Reporting live with another current events exhibit. It's been a while since I've posted (yea... life, man) so I figured we'll just quickly recap everything recent from the NFL.

Why not.

Greg Hardy. Again.

It seems the former NFL defensive end became inspired after his guilty-but-dropped domestic violence case in 2014 (for which he still maintains his innocence) and since began training for the MMA. Domestic violence is never funny so I won't crack a joke... but the irony here is just outrageous.

But alas the 6'4" man decided his true calling is football - not the business of whoopin' people's asses so thank goodness for that. Hardy recently announced he'll be returning to the gridiron, playing in the Spring League and that he's actually "not a f--king psychopath." Good to know.

While I've never beaten the bejeezus out of my signifiant other and don't understand Hardy's current position, I do understand he is one of far too many athletes involved in domestic violence situations. I'm tired of the NFL giving good players a pass when they assault people but demanding other heads on stakes after marijuana use, excessive celebrations and media-related infractions.

Greg Hardy's re-acceptance into the NFL? Issa no from me, Sir. Now go away.

Gordon's returning! Oh wait... what?

That's what I said too upon hearing the news. After serving multiple drug-related suspensions since 2014 and finally returning to play with the Browns last preseason, Gordon checked himself into rehab mid-season before stepping foot into a regular-season game. Flash forward a few months to now - the former-Browns WR is now living with his agent, working out and hoping for an NFL return.

Gordon applied for reinstatement and fan-favorite Goodell denied the request. While he's still able to reapply this fall, I'm sitting here just baffled. People like Greg Hardy, Ray Rice, Johnny Manziel and Josh Brown are all eligible for NFL action but Gordon, a young man with known addiction issues who independently sought rehab? Yea, he better sit this one out.

Only in the NFL is it better to knock your fiancé unconscious in an elevator than suffer from addiction. Football is truly something special.

Update on Kaep.

Yep, still unemployed for having an opinion and peacefully, quietly sharing it. He opted out of his contract with the 49ers upon this season's end and has since seen little interest from any teams - despite reaching the Super Bowl just a few years ago.

No matter his statement was in the name of equality for all, why would that be important to fans? No, he's an athlete. They need to pipe down and stop offending people by kneeling quietly during the National Anthem. We can't have that type of obnoxious, blatant disrespect around this league. We'd rather hire someone who beats the crap out of their spouse - or worse, someone who sucks - than see this generous, charitable and equal-minded man on our field. No sir, not this team. We have a code of conduct around here. We have values.

My God, people.

Takkarist McKinley is really excited.

Draft day shows up and Takkarist McKinley showed out. With the 26th pick in the 2017 NFL Draft, the Atlanta Falcons selected the UCLA defensive end and holy smokes was this boy HAPPY.

After his selection, McKinley displayed clear excitement by shouting and pointing to a giant framed photo of his grandma to who, before her death, McKinley promised an NFL career. According to the young man, this draft selection means "every f--cking thing" and the league can "fine me later" for using profanity on live TV.

Lol. I love authentic, passionate people and have now found my favorite 2017 rookie. Thanks for the entertainment, Takk. Godspeed this year.

Aaron Hernandez' passing.

Yes, we're talking about the man who was convicted of murder and indicted on double-homicide charges in a separate case. So Hernandez had some trouble and likely committed terrible acts resulting in his life sentence to prison but I was always rooting for him and hoping somehow he wasn't guilty. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Hernandez was convicted guilty and on April 19, 2017, committed suicide in prison.

Hernandez seemingly had it made and I think that's why this all made me so sad. From a bar fight and many failed drug tests to entering the NFL, proving his potential and earning his keep, Aaron Hernandez could've and nearly had it all.

But in a twisted yet forward-thinking way, Aaron's suicide was for the financial benefit of his family. Hernandez had already begun the appeals process for his conviction and according to Massachusetts law, Hernandez hadn't yet exhausted all legal efforts - therefore the case reverted back to it's beginning state upon his death. This means he died an innocent man and a decent portion of his $40 million NFL contract extension will now be ordered to his daughter.

Amen.

Marshawn Lynch signs with the Raiders.

I'm a Seahawks fan, I'm devastated, the end.

Marshawn Lynch in Seattle where he belongs

Tom Brady is cursed.

Today it was announced that Brady will grace the cover of the 2017-18 Madden video game and the sun shone a bit brighter for us all. LET'S GET THIS MAN A CURSE!

If you haven't heard of the Madden curse, let me break it down for you. Each year EA Sports makes a Madden NFL video game and selects one outstanding athlete from this season to feature on the cover of next season's game. This is typically followed by a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year by said athlete. As an example, last year Rob Gronkowski hung out on the cover before missing this season's first two games injured, facing a pulmonary contusion and ending his season with back surgery before the playoffs. I rest my case.

And if we know anything about about curses (i.e. the Lil B Curse on James Harden), the voodoo is legit. So now we have Brady who seemingly can't be stopped, not even by flat balls or a 25-point deficit in the Super Bowl. We'll see if the curse can weaken the "untouchable."